52 card pick-up & Lacklusters...

I'm starting to think I have 2 maybe 3 friends I can depend on for anything and everything. Even if it's just a late night chat because I feel like talking about anything and nothing at all. It sucks, well it sucks for me because I feel like because I DO so much for my friends I guess I feel like I deserve the same in return, sort of a give & take thing...? I do not ask a lot of my friends, in fact I rarely ask for advice about anything, because my life thus far has been a freakin cake walk compared to so many people. But, a friend of mine once told me "No one knows how you're feeling, because those are YOUR feelings... not someone else's." But, ya know the occasional phone call/text message just to say "Hi, how ya doin?" is not asking too much of my lackluster friends, is it?
I'd hate to say this, but I may have to start phasing out certain people, I've been phased out before, and unfortunately I feel like other's are now doing it to me also. And sadly its a feeling I've felt before. Which might be the reason why I keep my heart in a steel trunk under my bed... I'm starting to think it's not everyone around me, maybe it really is me.... I've only put all my cards out on the table once and after things ended I was left to play 52 card pick up, not much fun. I'm only friends with one ex and while I envy his happiness I want my OWN happiness. I want friends who care, I want a family who isn't so self-centered, I want to find someone who loves me for the reasons my best friends love me... I need to let this guard down....