Plans and tips for dating...

I never thought at pushing 28 I'd be helping my baby sister plan her wedding... But my mom told me "the best way to make God laugh is tell him your plan." And, maybe a decade ago I would have said "In 10 years I see myself married to my high school sweetheart, we'll have 3 kids with one on the way and I'll be a successful business woman and wonderful mother." Yeah, I didn't anticipate a broken heart for no reason, an unforeseen illness that plagued me for 2 years, 3 deaths, nearly losing both my parents, and lots of growing up. But now a decade later, I'm stronger, smarter (with somethings), I know what I want and I no longer wear my heart on my sleeve....and I now have a boyfriend that supports every aspect of my life including my need for personal space 4 nights out of the week and the fact that despite my attempts to remain calm in every situation... I do lose my temper... like when the cat decided it would be cute to hack up the largest hair ball inside my shoe.... Yeah... stuff like that. He finds my sense of humor endearing and the fact when I do get flustered instead of crying I tend to just smile and laugh... and for that I love him. For the first time in nearly a decade I feel happy with where I am in my life and with who I am...

But before meeting him (his name is Malcolm by the way, and he's Australian, did we except me to date another American?) I went on A LOT of dates, some good... some...notsomuch... So, to those guys I want to give you a little tip or a few about taking a girl out on a date or suggesting a decent meeting place...

1. Dinner at a restaurant like Chili's or Zio's is a great option.... Places like Wendy's, Sonic, McDonald's are not!

2. Meeting at a bar is fine.... Meeting at a GAY bar when you've been there since 3 in the afternoon is not fine.

3. Most women don't kiss on a first date.

4. When meeting a girl for dinner and/or drinks... PUT ON A CLEAN SHIRT. I do not want to see the mustard and ketchup stain from your lunch okay?

5. Talking about your family, that's okay.... going into family drama from 4 Christmas's ago.... not cool dude.

6. Asking the girl if she knows a lot about "gay lingo" is a HUGE RED flag.

7. I like stubble on a guy, it makes him look rugged, like Hugh Jackman or Charlie Hunnam (I'd be Jax Teller's Old Lady any day) but for goodness sakes keep that sh*t clean.

8. If you tell a girl I smoke a few times a year or you say I'm a social smoke, DO NOT smoke like chimney upon first meeting, you only get one time to make a first impression.

9. Dudes we women like to look good, not only to impress you but, yes to impress other women... yes, it sounds odd but it's true, upon first meeting, if you like her hair tell her, if you like what she's wearing tell her how pretty she looks. We LOVE compliments!

10. This one is for all my ladies out there... age is only important in 3 instances.... A. High school. B. Wine. and C. Good Cheese.

So, some of them might be funny and some of them you might find yourself nodding along saying "I KNOW!!!" but for the most part I hope you find them a little helpful when trying to find a date this New Year's Eve....