"Oh for F***s sake!"

A direct quote from Mal when I told him we'd be going to the grocery store last night... As we were walking through the grocery store I was talking to him, looking over our list and texting the lovely SP. So, yeah you can say it, I'm awesome!

Anyway! I had to start this blog with something kind of funny considering this weekend all I wanted to do was become totally invisible. So let me just start by saying when Mal and I tie the knot I am NOT and I repeat NOT be having a bridal shower (sorry to disappoint you SP). OK, so my sister had not one but two bridal showers. Bridal shower numero uno was on Saturday at her friend Sophie's parents ranch house (aka out in BFE!) So, this Bridal shower was cute, they played the typical shower games, which was all well and good. But, during the gift opening, there was one girl, Chrissy who I really wanted to smack into next Wednesday. Now, said girl had a bridal shower the weekend before my sister's shower and all she could talk about was herself and her fiance "Clint". Not to mention the bible thumbing girls looked down on me for being pregnant AND OMG unmarried. So to those girls I will marry my fiance whenever the hell I am ready and how dare you judge me!

So then on Sunday my sister had bridal shower numero dos. Which was way less awkward! But before we went to said party I was volunteered to tag along with my mom and grandma to go to Kohl's and Bed, Bath & Beyond to get my sister's shower gift. First I got lost in Kohl's, then I nearly knocked over a display of turkey roasting pans at BB&B, by the time I left I was so flustered and agitated I was nearly in tears (and not to mention it was humid as shit on Sunday). Then my mom decided she needed to go to the grocery store... by the time the party came around all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep.... (sigh)

And today I just woke up in a crap mood. I had heartburn most of the day, the underwire in my bra broke (And I LOVED that bra), and the events of the weekend are now catching up with me. And now this weekend I have to worry about this damn bachelorette party which I have a feeling is going to be a bust. I wish I could drink I need one right about now.

Bachelorettes, Brides and Babies.

I've made it known that my sister is getting married at the end of December... So... Roughly a month and 25-26 days.. Roughly... Well my younger cousin and I (note that her marriage didn't even last a year.) in the process of planning my sister's bachelorette party, and when my sister sent both of us a list of girls she wanted to attend her party, I looked it over, printed out the list and began plugging all the phone numbers into my phone. Well, upon telling my cousin I would be contacting all the girls to see if they'd be able to attend or not. Her response? "I was going to call/text the girls, but if you wanted to..." Uh, yeah I thought I would considering I AM the Maid of Honor, unless YOU wanted to take that title. Last week I contacted all the girls, and got responses from 7 out of the 10 girls. Not a bad turn out in my opinion. So, my cousin and I continued on with our party plans. Now the original plan was to go to dinner, then go bar hopping on 6th street... Well, we've altered our plans due to the simply fact that 2 of us are pregnant. Now? We are still going to dinner, then going back to the hotel and having a Pure Romance party, which from what I hear are giggle worthy... (I'd giggle now, but I'm in no mood to cheer up at the moment). So all in all that part is done.

On to my next little rant, the bridal store my sister ordered our dresses from are in, however, the lady never called any of us to come pick them up. So, they've been chillin' at the store since oh last month. Awesome. We still have to pick our dresses and have them altered if needed. Which sounds super easy, right? Wrong. One bridesmaid is in Colorado, one is up near Dallas and the rest of us are scattered around south Texas. So get us all in one spot is going to be hell.... AND my sister has asked me to do hair and make up for all the bridesmaids on top of doing my own hair and my mom's hair... This wedding is not going to be fun for me at all....

As previously mentioned in this blog, 2 girls in my sister's party are pregnant, her friend Sophie and myself... I've done a lot of research online and I am in process of reading that "What to Expect when You're Expecting" book... And I have to tell you I am FREAKING out! One of my best friends had a baby almost 3 years ago and she was in labor for 36 hours.... Yeah! 36 hours and 18 of them were hard labor... around hour 35 and a half, labor stopped! So she had to have a C-Section.. THAT is a fear I have, what if I am in labor for like a day and a half and then she just decides "Oh hell no, I'm staying in here where it's dark and warm."? I am so scared and yet Mal is very laid back about all of this, including our potential move to Corpus Christi and a possible 6 month split between Texas and Australia... (sigh). What to do, what to do?

Waiting for the other shoe....

So.... I am slowly preparing for 3 things at the moment. 1. Flying 19 hours to Brisbane, AUS to meet my future in laws (for the first time (YIKES!!!)) 2. Taking deep breaths to not kill my foster sister... and 3. the arrival of my long over-due/very late period.... Who as of last month was a no-show... And considering my period is like clock work this is both alarming and a blessing... I'm 98% sure it's because of the tremendous amount of stress I've been under and the other 2% well that part is hoping this month I get my period... otherwise Mal and I may have some VERY big decisions to make....UGH I hate waiting...

To say I'm nervous is an understatement.... I have all of these what-ifs in my head.... like, what if Mal's family does not like me at all? What if they think I'm just some snobby girl from the US? I've only talked to his younger brother on the phone once and that was nerve wracking enough... And yet he sat there like a champ when my family gave him the 3rd degree.... So he got an A+ for that and he got an "I think he's wonderful" from my sister in law and grandma, and those two should have been in charge of the Spanish Inquisition.

And I have decided after this last blogging I am no longer going to mention my foster sister, it's like beating a dead horse, useless and cruel to the dead horse. So, here goes. She has gotten on my (and Mal's) last possible nerve. I am normally an even tempered person, it takes a lot to get me angry, but over the past couple of weeks... She's gotten under my skin... and next week before we go on vacation, Mal is having the locks changed.... and only we will have keys... Cruel? Um hell no. If you only knew and the only reason I am not going to blog about the things she did is because I'm sick of talking about them...

So, with ALL that said...Happy 4th Everyone and if I don't talk to you soon, I will have A LOT to talk about in 3 weeks!!!

He put a ring on it!!!

OMG y'all!
So, I try to keep things to myself and I am not one to brag about ANYTHING at all, but..... I feel like I have to brag and boast like a proud parent about the man in my life. For a while the only man in my life (aside from my dad and brothers) had 4 legs, a fluffy tail and loved to cuddle (even when the A/C went out....he felt the need to snuggle up to my chest.). ANYWAY! As of a few days ago Mal went from being my boyfriend to my fiance!!!!

Just thought I would let you know!!!

Raise your glass....or wait....

I've stated before.... my foster sister is staying with us.... still, but with some not so gentle coaxing she moved into the guest room.... (THANK YOU GOD!!!) and that is all well and good... however, she is a total Vegan, which is fine, and dandy, but... I however am not, but I might as well be (I don't eat red meat nor do I consume dairy.... ANYWAY!) she has even gone so far as to make her own deodorant, laundry soap, etc... which to me is a bit much, yeah? And she is trying to get me on the Vegan band wagon, which I would be all for, but I am not going to take dieting tips from a girl who throws up after every meal and I realize this is a mental disorder, which I have never suffered from I have a fear of throwing up... I hate it, I even hate the way it sounds. So anyway she recently she found out that an Internet friend of hers/livejournal community members committed suicide. Now, I didn't get all the details out of her, but today she just kept saying "it could have been any of us, it could have been me." (as she was sitting at a bar at noon drinking a double gin and tonic). I never discount the validity of Internet friends because some of my closest friends have come from the Internet but I have actually met them... Ally we will meet eventually (I am going up to Dallas in August to see my friends band so maybe then?). But, the thing is she never met this young lady who killed herself... And while I realize it is a deeply traumatic thing to deal with, NEVER say "it could have been me" because I know you, and you my friend are just looking for attention.

Anyway, the point of that story, was when we got back from our errand running, poured herself ANOTHER gin and tonic (that brings it a total of 4 because she technically had 3 at the Pub we were at) went out onto the balcony, got on the phone and started smoking her cigarettes (which she smokes in my car, so now my car smells like an ashtray along with my what was clean hair..... UGH: Note to my reader(s?) I'm not a smoker nor is Mal so the smell of cigarettes gets to me). So as soon as she pries her phone away from her ear (for a while I thought it was going to become attached...) she walks inside, sits at our computer (which we just had to upgrade to a new one because mine laptop was like 10 years old) and starts listening to depressing music while I was trying to watch TV. So.... I went into my room and took a nap with Mal while she wallowed in her mood.

We wake up and she is falling asleep at the little computer desk, so I put her to bed, but before I do that I offer to get her some water and some food, she just looks at me and says nothing.....I give up on trying to help people.....

I've become THAT girl....

I have to get out of this funk y'all, I feel like it's almost crippling. I haven't gone to the gym in 2 weeks, I feel like I have put on 15 pounds, which ya know if this were winter it would be okay, but we're are getting into the summer months and this 15 pounds of funk is NOT working for me. Now back in 2007 I packed on a massive 45 pounds... I went from weighing about 120 to about 160 maybe. And that was only because I was ill... So now that I am healthy (well for the most part) I have no excuse except for the fact that I am in a total funk.... And I take stock of the things I have in my life and there are good... I have a wonderful and I do mean wonderful boyfriend (man-friend?), my parents are supporting my choice to temporarily leave school in order to get my head on straight, and I have a network or great friends. So, why do I feel this way? Maybe because I have gained 15 pounds, ok maybe it's not THAT much but it feels like it, I have no idea, I have a good paying job but the job itself sucks, along with the people at the job, especially the girl who likes to ogle my man-friend...which is totally different blog all together.

So, tomorrow I am going to get my butt off my couch and go back to the gym because I know Mal wants his work out buddy back and I would like to look good in a two piece by Memorial Day weekend....

I was not prepared for this AT all!

So on Thursday I had a full on mental break down, complete with a panic attack of epic proportions... I even had to sit down and put my head between my knees... Fun stuff huh? Not exactly. Upon calming down, I did something I didn't want to do but knew I had to do, if that makes sense... I decided it would be in my best interest to take a temporary leave of absence from school, even though my heart was (and still is) in school 110% my head was nowhere near clear enough to cut and color hair everyday on top of working 40 plus hours a week. I do plan on going back, I just can't go back to evenings, I'll have to go during the day which means I will have to quit my current job when the time comes. I told my parents about the aforementioned break down and received nothing but support from them. So, being the big baby that I am, I asked my mom if I could come stay at their house for the weekend and she of course said "yes by all means" so I am now sitting on my parents couch, listening to a criminal minds marathon trying to think of anything but my breakdown. The only positive that has come out of this is all the sleep I caught up on over the weekend, I was asleep by 8:45 on Friday.... because a. I'm old and b. I am was just simply exhausted.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking..... "Did you just like leave like 'peace out bitches' style or what?" No I didn't do that, I withdrew the proper way, that when I go back I won't lose my financial aid or all my hours because I was half way through the cosmetology program. I plan on practicing so I don't lose my skills so when I go back I will be that much better..... I'm not sure why I felt the need to justify this or tell you this but maybe once I get my head clear and things sorted out I will be better, but at the moment I need time to just.... I don't know be alone and think about everything? Mal understands and is being very supportive. I just hope the rest of my family is as understanding and supportive as my boyfriend, mom and dad.....